Love is Friendship on Fire

Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal.

A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of wedding vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, ring(s), symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or leader.

I have only ever truly loved to the point of wanting marriage once. If I could express that emotion in words I would, but I will let corny movie quotes express it for me instead.

The way I felt on our first date:

Once in awhile,
Right in the middle of an ordinary life,
Love gives us a fairy tale.

The way I felt for 90% of our relationship:

“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.” LOTR- The Fellowship of the Ring

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” -Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights

Obviously, all good things must come to an end, hence the way I felt for 90%. The relationship failed and then failed again. Things fall apart. And sometimes you can’t figure out how to put them back together until it’s too late.

How I have felt for the last 5 some years:

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” -Edgar Allan Poe’s

How I still feel:

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by embracing one another.
Luciano de Crescenzo

So, as I roam here in the life of an unwed, and I watch people I loved and still love tie the knot, I will walk around with my solitary wing waiting for someone to join me in flight. I have had many great learning experiences since this man. And as I watch him marry and begin his full life, I look forward with courage and hope knowing that someone is out there for me. But, as is in my true nature, I move forward daily with a harder heart than yesterday.

So, now I pose a few questions to anyone who happens to read this…

  1. Have you ever loved with such passion that you couldn’t comprehend life without this other person?
  2. If you are married, did you marry the person in number 1? If no, who did you marry then?
  3. Do you believe that there is only one person in the world that is the perfect person for you?


I have to take this final moment to thank a dear friend of mine. She said something to me today that I am not sure if I should take as a compliment or not. Although I know she meant it as a compliment, I always wonder if my ability to guard my heart is a blessing or a curse.

“You’re smarter with your heart than most people are.” – L


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