She Didn’t Win

Was it really only a week ago the happiness and bliss was rushing through her system? His lips and words overcoming her fears, causing her to fall harder than she could have anticipated. In a simple weekend he had devoured her soul and made her believe in love again.

Maybe all of that was the cause of her hope. She was hanging on to a man who just admitted to still having another woman. Although he assured her that she was the one he wanted, the one he had been waiting for. There was no one else in his mind, he just needed to take care of it. “I’m taking care of it” was repeated again and again. “I know what is going to make you happy and that is being taken care of. What else right now can I do, to make you happy?” So she waited.

A week of promises passed by and her pain turned to fury. “I am not interested in being just some girl you text. So if that’s how you feel, don’t text me.” She was convinced that she was no longer the one he really wanted. “You aren’t just a girl to me, you never have been. I don’ think you realize that. I have wanted to be with you since the day we met a year ago.” All she could muster up to respond was “Prove it”. He kept fighting her, trying to get her to believe this wasn’t a big deal. But she was defeated.


“So are we done then?”  Of course he was going to give up. She had seen this ‘out’ used countless times and she wanted nothing more than to say with every ounce of absolution that he didn’t deserve her, that she was worth more than a cheap feeling of second place. But she found herself responding, “If I could give up on you that fucking easy I’d have been gone the day I found out about her! I am fucking waiting on you! If you want me as much as you say, I need you to prove it to me. But I can’t keep doing this pretend game that it doesn’t bother me to not have all of you. It’s incredibly unfair. I am just really hurt by your choice”.

“I know that” he replied. “You will soon be happy again.”

But she wasn’t happy. She didn’t win. And he didn’t try…

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