My dreamy eyes opened slowly to the peek of light on a lazy Sunday morning. I am in utopia from the night before. I can still feel the electricity dancing across my skin, the passion on my lips and the faint sense of falling in my heart. A stranger, just a few weeks ago walked in to my life like a firestorm raging, shooting heat through my veins for the first time in years. In all reality, I am not quite sure I ever felt this intensity towards another… not even my ex fiance who so effortlessly destroyed my world those years ago. Had it been that long? Had I let that damage keep me from this? Shame on me…
Not wanting to break the spell I regretfully turn over to face the man that had unbridled me.
Funny how in a single heartbeat your world can be flipped over… He wasn’t there. All of my fears confirmed. He left.
Immediately your mind races off on a “What’s wrong with me” tangent! What did I do, did he not like it, was I weird last night, am I not as attractive when my clothes come off, did I not satisfy… was I simply a conquest?? And there your mind lands and drowns you… I was used. How did I not see this coming! I should have known that in just a few short weeks the feelings I had were crazy and there was no possible way a man like that could be reciprocating the same. He simply wanted a lay and my walls were a desirable challenge. I had been in a similar place before finding out that I was nothing more than a game… luckily then, I was closed to the opportunity and they lost hope and moved on. Thankfully so… I can’t imagine having this feeling more than once in my lifetime.
Do I really have to get out of bed and face this day, face this utter humiliation? I had put up walls for a reason… and now they are going back up, reinforced, bigger this time. I would rather be single forever than be destroyed in this way.
… There is movement in the hallway and I freeze…
How incredibly impossible for me to believe! This impossibly perfect man is walking back in to the room… coffee in hand. I am almost brought to tears by the flip of actions that have actually occurred. With his entrance he has noticed something is wrong and like the wind wraps me in to his arms lips against my temples. “What ever could be wrong my love?”
“I thought you had gone”, I said.
“Crazy talk, what could possibly bring me to leave you?”
And with a simple phrase, a whirlwind had begun, and my utopia restored.