Insecurity and Love: Balancing the two

Define: Emotional insecurity or simply insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable or inferior in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one’s self-image or ego.

A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value, and one or more of their capabilities, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary, and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by “going wrong” in the future. This is a common trait, which only differs in degree between people.

I like calling this feeling “waiting for the other shoe to drop”.

I am a strong, independent, confident woman and when I am on fire in life I am unstoppable. No person can bring down my lust for being me. But oddly enough, relationships have a way of making me insecure in myself. I allow myself to open up to the idea of being hurt and then I spend that time expecting to get hurt. This comes from a learned function of being hurt multiple times, being in relationships that are quick to end because I am too strong and too independent for the man, or finding out early on that the man in the picture is a shitty human being. (This does not include relationships that simply fizzled out or both parties realized we were better friends… I am not talking about the good ones today).

I start to get these feelings of insecurity, unease, expecting heartache and I have learned that I am better off looking inside myself for the comfort. Instead of pointing fingers, “who is she” “why are you talking to her”, I look to me and say “am I being the best version of myself and being unbridled and open to you”? I have come to the conclusion that the other shoe will drop, that is inevitable, but when it does, will it be a disastrous heartache because you were constantly waiting for him to screw up and you became shrewish and jealous and ruthless? Or will the other shoe drop and make your day?

If a man is going to do you wrong, there is really nothing you can DO to stop it. Be yourself, be the most amazing you (really we should all be this daily) and if he does do you wrong… well then hunny good for you for getting out! So many times we point to ourselves to find the fault (trust me I advocate this, everyone should accept responsibility for their actions) but every now and again we get to realize a simple fact:

“Hey, I was awesome, I am awesome, and you just fucked up.”

Moving on…

 

Disclaimer:  I think this is and can be the exact way for a man, women fuck up daily too guys!

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