I am not going to make any guesses on the outcome of today, I don’t want to believe that there is more than one option just yet.
How do you handle something when you don’t know all of the pieces? You are thinking that you are doing your best, being your best you but then BAM sorry, it’s actually not quite good enough. A simple little fight turns in to a disaster scenario and you are all of a sudden in a whirlwind of confusion and you’re lost and not really sure what the fight is actually about and everyone is avoiding the conversation and being hurtful and hiding and playing games and wondering and hoping and losing hope. You try to step away from your pride to apologize, but that’s not what was wanted? Now I am really confused. I just want to scream WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! But that won’t do anyone any good.
So now you are sitting here, staring at your computer screen writing this out to try and make sense of it. But you are still just as confused and falling apart inside trying to keep your shit together. You are replaying every moment, trying to recall what may have gone wrong, what was it exactly that you did that sucked so bad to cause all of this? What did I miss, what sign or signal or comment was made that I just missed?