I am a magnet for unavailable men, this is something I have found to be true over and over again. Married but getting a divorce, married but hiding it, dating, engaged, etc you name it! If there is a man that approaches me, I will bet you $100 he is probably not “single” because 90 to 1 odds… I will be right.
Please revisit my older post, Uneven Heartache, it will bring to light the really big issue where this has happened to me.
Just yesterday, a guy I had barely talked to decided to come back around, wanting to explain something.
“Here we go” I said to myself, eyes rolling.
We had started talking just a few short months ago, it ended almost as quick as it began for several reasons. He lived across the state, wasn’t sure he was looking to really date, and when he got drunk he tried to solicit me for inappropriate photos. The first time I received the drunk message “send me a pic” I immediately shut down, essentially said “thanks but no thanks” for his time and made it clear contacting me again was not going to get him any response . He would reach out to me two more times, following my blatant “fuck off”, to apologize and as I had made clear, I didn’t respond to him.
Fast forward several weeks later, I had honestly forgotten about him to the point when he reached back out I struggled to recall his name! It was a basic message saying “hey, I have something I really need to tell you. Might clear up some of my inappropriate behavior towards you, I apologize again for that. If you don’t mind letting me know if you could find time to talk.” Oh man o.k., I am intrigued, what in the world could this possibly be?! I am thinking fiance… that was honestly my guess!
Him: “So, I haven’t been really truthful with you with stuff but felt I should tell you… So I have a girlfriend”
Me: “of course you do”
DAMN! So close… I am really getting good at this, not something to be proud of though.
Him: “I’m sorry, we’ve been dating about 2 years. I am at the point where I’m trying to figure out the next step and am really unsure what to do.”
He continues on about loving her, but not being fulfilled, not sure what he wants, could marry her but thought about breaking up with her, blah blah the bullshit rants on. I simply inform him that he is disgusting, she deserves to know, etc. He continues on, assuming he thinks that I care, trying to rationalize and explain himself as if I might say “oh it’s o.k., what you’re doing is typical and you shouldn’t be ashamed.” He went on about “if you knew me you would never expect this”. O.K., well I DON’T know you, I don’t know why you are talking to me about this.
The final kicker to this ridiculous conversation… “If I broke up with my girlfriend next week, would you go out with me?”
You’re kidding me right? I told you several weeks ago to disappear from existence and I didn’t know you had a girlfriend! What part of this guy’s brain made him think that for any second of rational thought that I would ever contemplate dating him? I would have to be bat shit crazy to go for this guy.
My final words: “Absolutely not. I’m not ever going to date you, ever, in any way shape or form as long as this planet exists and you’re in it.”
Him: “wow, harsh… but thanks for the honesty”
Me: “Sure thing”