Someone Should Pay Me For This

Ok, now that I am no longer angry… Let me propose a new business concept.

We have all watched the movies where someone capitalizes on others misfortunes and turns it in to something positive and a cash flow… Hitch, The Wedding Ringer, My Best Friend’s Girl. I could go on I’m sure. But where are the movies about the other end? Finding the cheater? And not just the one person hiring a detective… because I think I could make a business out of this that would save people money on hiring a detective.

I have a knack for being attractive to the “taken” man. They like to hide their relationships when I’m around, they like to lie about how “they just broke up”, they like to lie and lie and lie. And I am really, REALLY good at pretending I believe them. All those years of theater I guess.

I have been irritated by this so many times, I think even an honest man would struggle to get me to truly believe them these days. But what I have begun to do in these situations is document… photographs of us together (nothing pornagraphic… come on people), screenshots of conversations with time stamps, all while keeping it classy (I said no porn). What is unfortunate is I do this with all new dates, whether I know they are full of shit or not… but so far… I have been OH SO RIGHT every time. What is astonishing to me is how EASY it is to find the truth. With social media and this lovely site called Google, everything I need to know about you is in a simple click. Your Facebook might be “private” but your girlfriends is not. You might not be super active on Instagram, but your fiance loves to post photos of your future family. Or you might be overall stupid and I can find it all by just looking at yours… idiots.

Who needs to pay top dollar for a detective when I could find everything you need for… what should I charge… $50 an hour? Does that sound reasonable? And now to think of a name for my LLC… Unhitch Inc? Uncork? Unbind Services? Sabotage Services? The Exterminator? Annul and Liberate Inc? Or how about something less obvious?  …. Varmint Removal?

I’m taking suggestions.



  1. Divorce lawyers can cost from $150 to $300 an hour for basic on. Most of the time divorces drag on and get expensive since there is little proof that there was wrong doing. So your investigation time and evidence should be at least $100/hour worth especially if you are able to save evidence for your client to use in court.


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