I’m A Magnet for Unavailable Men

And I’m sick of it.

Holy shit, if I had a dime for all the unavailable men that have vied for my affections, maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad… because I could buy a fucking car.




Screwing 6+ people.

And they LIE about it, like I wouldn’t be able to find out?! Idiots. And I ASSURE you this is reality… Maybe this is what is happening! I am in a reality TV show that I am completely unaware of? Is this some sick game a television producer has designed to show people all the warning signs of shitty individuals that swoop in and ruin a perfectly amazing ‘meet cute’ by ending up already taken? Cause I am telling you, secret asshole producer, you are ruining ‘meet cutes’ for me.

So, here is my advice to the next person that wants to talk to me that is already unavailable. Fuck off. Don’t even think about it. Cause I will drag your pretty little name through endless amounts of shit and warn your girlfriend/fiance/wife, just how much of a fucking dick-bag you really are. And she will believe me, because I will send her documentation of all of your bullshit.

Choke on a cactus you good for nothing excuse for man.


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