28.5 and Dating

In January I wrote about how shitty dating was in this era and how dating apps and “Netflix and Chill” were the norm. I brooded on about how I wanted genuine interactions and someone to really try for me. So here’s my update…

 

It’s all still shit.

 

But…

I kind of like it this way, so hear me out:

When I made the decision to not join any dating sites and not really allow for ever so many pointless dates, one really great thing happened… I started dating new guys less and started getting more “me” things accomplished! Since January, I have lost almost 12lbs and am in the best shape of my life, I’ve built a privacy fence for my house with my dad, I’ve enhanced my career, I’ve traveled, and I’ve spent a lot more quality time with my friends and family. All in all, I am much happier.

I have met a guy or two, and quickly realized, before I went on the date, that I would be wasting my time. I have met one who ultimately pushed me to be more productive in my own life. But, more importantly, I have met the unapologetically honest version of myself that I have been missing for a few years. I don’t waste nearly as much energy keeping unproductive relationships breathing, I suffocate them. I don’t waste my time with one way streets, I speed down the highway of my life, hair blowing in the breeze of no bullshit.

Those are some sadistic and corny statements for you. You’re welcome.

The only con that I could possibly find in all of this ME time and happiness, is the small dark thought that I might get used to doing this on my own. But then the bright light of ‘no fucks’ shines through and I move on.

Cheers to the next 6 months! Stay tuned 🙂

 

 

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Lately I get  these perfect thoughts in my head and I sprint to the keyboard to type them out… but my fingers can’t decipher all the thoughts racing behind my eyes. I decided to carry a journal again so I could jot down my thoughts as I go, but the distance from my brain to my fingertips must be too far to travel. I fail at writing down the emotions coursing through me. But what if, it’s not the fact that I am failing in translation, what if, it is simply that my skin is so alive and on fire that it burns to pause.

I was asleep for so long I forgot what it felt like to be set aflame. I want to run everywhere again, and see everything that is available to be seen!  I also want to simply stand, and soak up everything that I am feeling, unmoved from the moment.

I want to be awed by the world. I want to be awed by people. I want to bask in the humanity of beautiful moments. I want to drown in the beauty of this planet.

It’s nice to say Hello to me again.