The Other Woman

I never wanted to be her. I certainly did not want to continue to be her… It’s why I felt I had to call. I wanted you to know what it was you were married to. I can’t even dignify calling him a “him” for he is a monster. How he so easily sauntered in to the bar no ring, how his gaze made me crazy enough to give him my number… I didn’t expect him to call, he seemed to cool for me anyways! But he did, and the lies came pouring in. He never mentioned you. Never mentioned a girlfriend, let alone a wife. He said he was too busy with work to think about a relationship, but was interested in getting to know me. Friends he said.

So he came up to meet me, conversation and smiles had me intoxicated for I so longingly wanted to be wanted. He got the best of me, a kiss would be a kiss, he would attempt for more but I wanted him to work for it. I sent him home with a mere glimpse of what I had to offer. Nothing more. This I promise. I am not the girl to so easily be swayed in to a first date escapade no matter how smooth he may be. I have more dignity in myself than that. The conversation did flow and I found myself exploring the idea of a friendship that might benefit me. I so wanted to be wanted.

But when I went digging, I found you. The benefit of not trusting anyone I suppose. I found your happiness and smiles glaring back at me and I was shocked to see his face pressed against yours, but there it was. Clear as day. You are his wife and have been for awhile it seems. I didn’t want this I tell you. I dragged out a bullshit conversation to get as much proof as humanly possible. His photos, his dirty mind, his desires for another woman. What you see in these messages… this isn’t me.

I am sick and tired of being the other woman. Finding out that me alone is never enough. Yes… I admit. This would not be the first time a married man had found a way to hide his marital vows and get in to my heart. At least this time I found out before I loved him.

I sent this all to you not in a vicious way. I simply wanted you to know. I want more than anything for you to ruin his life because I would like to think I would do the same if I were you. I feel guilty for not doing more the last time this happened to me. He certainly did not deserve to get away with anything, but I let him go. I tried to cope with it myself thinking that reaching out would do more harm than good and I made excuses because I had loved him. But I do not love your man. I do not desire to ever see him again in any capacity. I want him to be left in the dirt where he belongs.

But I am not here to tell you what to do. Stay with him if you wish, I will never judge you. Leave him if you can, I will not judge you. I am not you. I do not know what I would do in this scenario. But I know this…

I am not going to be the other woman. I am done hurting over someone who did not have the decency to be a man to begin with. Can I be blamed? Sure. I kept talking fully knowing he was married, thinking I was outwitting my opponent. When in reality I will look like a fool. I will leave you alone as you so wish to be left. I gave you what I could. I do not wish to drag on any agony for either of us. I will disappear in to the edges of paper on a computer screen because I know not any other way. I am sorry, truly.

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#LikeAGirl

Documentarian Lauren Greenfield and Always have teamed up to fight against the female stereotype, and show the negative effect it can have on a teen’s confidence.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/candacelowry/this-emotional-compaign-aims-revolutionizes-the-phrase-like

Greenfield conducted a social experiment by asking a group of women and men to do various things “like a girl.” Pre-teen girls were asked to do the same, and their reactions were incredibly moving.

We’ve all heard the phrase “like a girl” growing up, so why not change its negative stigma?

 

This documentary hits home, growing up in a house full of boys, losing your mother influence young and not knowing who and what it meant to be acting “like a girl”. This is empowering. We as women, girls, all ages and sizes need to stand up to the negative stigma!!!

10 Easy Ways to Deal With Me When I Am Being a Bitch

*Original Post by Melanie Curtin*

Let me find someone who knows that while I’m totally imperfect and totally impatient, I’m also totally loyal, totally affectionate and willing to go all out for my friends. Let me find someone who sees it all — not who shuts down when I’m not at my best.

 

Women don’t come with a manual. If they did, men wouldn’t need man caves.

The truth is, part of what makes women appealing can also make them terrifying. Their emotional volatility is either fascinating or distressing, depending on how it’s expressed, yes — but also on how it’s taken.

Every woman’s got her moods. Most men are by turns charmed, bewildered and blindsided by them. Here are some hints to help you keep your cool when I’m being a red hot bitch:

10. Don’t resist it

I cannot overemphasize this one. Resistance is the most common reason my being a bitch gets us into all kinds of trouble (and not the fun kind instigated by tequila and a hot tub).

In case you’re wondering what this means, it includes saying things like, “Calm down,” “Would you just relax?” “What’s the big deal?” and, “You’re overreacting.”

This is much like pouring gas on a lit flame.

When I’m pissed, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, it’s happening. Wishing it wasn’t or telling me to stop isn’t going to work. It’s similar to attempting to stop a tsunami. Is you telling the big bitchy wave to stop being a big bitchy wave going to work?

Nope. But if you accept that the wave is happening and grab a surfboard, you’ll get farther and be in for a hell of a ride.

I know how complicated women are — trust me, I’m living proof of this. But if there’s anything I’ve learned about men, it’s that the more I’m accepted for exactly who I’m being in this moment, the more I change and morph and melt into something more accepting myself.

9. Know that it won’t last forever

Have I ever been a bitch forever? Have I? Have you ever known any women who was? (Meryl Streep from Devil Wears Prada doesn’t count).

No. Emotions don’t last forever, no matter what they are. That’s why they’re called e-motions — energy in motion. There is no permanent state, particularly when it comes to women. We can switch from ecstatic to melodramatic in an instant, and be ready for tiramisu right after.

By the way, do you think that’s easy? No. A lot of the time it’s exhausting. You should try being on this roller coaster of emotion, not just being around it.

8. Know that it’s not really about what it’s about

When I’m being a bitch, we’re in Emotion Land. We left Logic Land long ago and as much as you may lament its absence, that ship has sailed (right on over the tsunami). I may be crying hysterically ‘because’ you forgot to call, or sniping at you ‘because’ you forgot to buy the right kind of milk. But it’s not really about that. In other words, it’s not really about what it’s ‘about.’

It’s not that it has nothing to do with the milk; it’s just that it’s more about something else. In fact, I may not even know exactly what’s wrong myself.

The best way for you to deal with this is to stop playing the game of “fixing what this is ‘about,'” and start listening for what it’s really about. The more you can hold off on shaming me for being upset over something ‘illogical,’ the more we can work as a team to figure out what’s really going on.

7. Have fun with it

Are you one of those people who loves watching sh*t go down when there’s something destructive happening? Are you like, daaamn, look at those waves flood over the boardwalk, or those cars floating down the street, or that (empty) house get torn up by that hurricane? Holy Sharknado, this is amazing!

Use that. Pretend my storm is an actual storm, and you get a front row seat (which, incidentally, some people would pay for). Witness it the same way you would a tempest — it swirls and rages, lessens and worsens, and eventually dissipates.

Because the things I’m saying and the way I’m acting isn’t ‘the truth.’ It’s just what’s true for me in that one particular moment. It will change in the next moment, just like the weather. And once you stop taking it to be something to be defended against or resentful of, it can actually be kind of entertaining.

I’m like your own personal hurricane. Besides, wouldn’t it be boring if it were sunny skies all the time?

6. When I act like a child, think of me like a child

Half the time when I’m being a bitch, it is exactly the same as when a 3-year-old is wigging out because s/he’s sleep-deprived. There is no logical reason for the behavior — it’s a physiological reaction. As adults, we assume we’re all capable of being normal, rational beings all the time.

We’re not. Especially not those of us with riotously, spectacularly, outlandishly fluctuating hormones.

Seriously, when I’m whining or bitching or complaining seemingly just for the sake of it, picture me as a tiny little girl in a tiny little dress with a tiny little diaper and a tiny little face red from bawling, who is upset that you just gave her the wrong milk. How seriously do you take that toddler? How much compassion do you have for her?

You always knew I was secretly a 3-year-old. Now make it work for you.

5. Call me out (gently)

For me personally, this works best when you give a nickname to my bitchy side.

My ex used to use “‘tudy,” short for “attitude-y.” This was brilliant, because it named what was happening without making me the bad guy. It also acknowledged that I’m not only that — there are many aspects and facets to me. This just happens to be the one that’s coming out right now.

It usually went a little something like:

Me: [Looking in fridge] “Really?? You forgot that I asked you specifically to get whole milk this week? You know I’m trying out that new Fat Is The New Skinny Diet — you just thought you’d ruin my chances, or what?”
Him: [Glancing over at me; pausing for a moment] “Hey there, ‘tudy! I’ve missed you. What you been up to?”

I’d roll my eyes but no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t suppress a smile. He knew me — all of me — and he wasn’t scared of it. Instead of taking my comment as a huge and monumental attack on his manhood that he must defend against, it was more like, ‘let’s acknowledge that bitchy thing Mel just said.’

It’s not that he wasn’t taking me seriously. It’s that he wasn’t taking me too seriously.

4. If you can’t handle it, leave

It’s all well and good to talk about enjoying it, but sometimes, that’s just not possible. In those moments, don’t tell me I shouldn’t be or feel a certain way. If you can’t handle it, get out the way.

Look, I love my sister like, well, a sister. But she can be a real bitch sometimes. And I’ve learned that occasionally, it’s best to just leave the room. Sometimes I can read her moods and know that she’s ready to talk; other times I know it’s about her blood sugar being low; and sometimes it’s just a different type of mood — the untouchable one. It’s that one where no matter what I say or do, she’s just going to be a bitch.

For the most part, I know when to stick around and when to stay away. Then there are the times when I read it wrong and get scratched by her ‘tudy talons. At that point, I retreat into the other room and lick my wounds.

Both are fine, but it’s a whole lot more pleasant when I read it right and beat a hasty retreat. You should feel free to do the same.

3. Take care of yourself

You don’t always have to put up with my crap. Just because I’m in a bad mood doesn’t mean you’re responsible for it — or for fixing it. As my man, I expect you to give me attention and put energy into the relationship, but I don’t expect either 24/7.

You are, in fact, a whole separate being with your own experiences and needs and responsibilities. And your first responsibility is to yourself: If you can’t handle it or don’t have the energy or just don’t want to deal with me in a certain moment, don’t.

DO NOT sacrifice yourself or your truth just to make me ‘happy.’ It doesn’t work, anyway — you usually get resentful that you tried to help and it didn’t fly. I’d much rather you take care of yourself in the moment and have space for me later than overextend yourself now and blame me for it later.

Instead, try just letting me know: “Hey, I get you’re upset and I want you to know I care. At the same time, I need to take care of myself right now so I’m gonna go chill for a while. Cool?”

With this, you’ve solved half of it anyway just by acknowledging that I’m not OK. I at least feel seen, and I’m also primed to get that it’s not all about me all the time.

Sometimes, it’s easy for me to forget that.

2. If you don’t know how to support me, ask

You don’t have it all figured out. You don’t have to know exactly what to do or how to do it or what to say or how to say it beforehand. It’s far better to admit you don’t know than to constantly attempt to figure out the enigma wrapped in a riddle served on a bed of unpredictable with a little dollop of wtf on top that constitutes the psyche of a woman.

If you are really at your wit’s end, but you do have the energy and you do want to know what’s going on or how to help — ask. For example: “I don’t know what to do or how to help right now, but I want to. How can I support you?”

That will bring me up short.

And much of the time, I will tell you. This can flip me right out of my mood and put me into a different one. I might start to bawl; I might ask for chocolate; I might collapse into your arms and say, “I just — *sob* — want – *sob* — a foot rub. Can you — *hiccup* — give me — *searching look* — a foot rub?”

Because usually when I’m being a bitch, there’s some need that’s not being met. I don’t feel heard, or I’m craving connection, or I’m not feeling expressed, or I’m just generally feeling like I don’t matter. Here’s a truthful secret for you: Sometimes I lash out just to make sure that I do matter — that I can at least impact someone.

The point is, usually all that frustrated and angry energy wants to be transmuted into something else, something softer and more accessible and more yielding. If I’m given the genuine space for it, it will.

You can create that space. Sometimes.

1. Love me anyway

Please, God, let me find a man who is capable of this. Let me find someone who doesn’t take me too seriously, isn’t intimidated by mood swings and embraces the fact that I’m pretty judgmental a lot of the time. Let me find someone who knows that while I’m totally imperfect and totally impatient, I’m also totally loyal, totally affectionate and willing to go all out for my friends. Let me find someone who sees it all — not who shuts down when I’m not at my best.

And if it’s in the cards for me, let me find someone who doesn’t just tolerate me, but genuinely finds my quirks endearing. Let me be discovered by someone who doesn’t see me as a problem to be solved or a thing to be handled, but as a woman to be loved.

Even — or maybe even especially – when she’s being a bitch.

*Re-posted*

Follow Melanie Curtin on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/VixenOTL

Dating Rewind

You meet a guy, go out a few times and it either fizzles out or he stops calling all at once. You write it off. Oh well, you weren’t invested anyways. Better now than later. No big deal.

But then something happens, a month later… two months later… whatever the time frame. Call it a full moon, but it always seems to happen when you have moved on (meaning you completely accepted this person being a nothing of your life or you moved on and met someone new). This guy chooses to reach out to you.

Sometimes it starts with a simple “Hey, what’s up?” or you get the long spill of “Oh, sorry this is what happened and this is where I have been” apology. From personal experience I much prefer the apology, because at least the guy is admitting fault and being a little more sincere about the whole scenario. But can someone please tell me, why if I guy comes back for round 2… why WASTE MY TIME if you are not actually interested in me. I have witnessed this recently, a guy came back for seconds, took her out on a couple dates was flirty, communicative and available… for a little while. Set up for a third date, then radio silence… Finally on the day of the date it comes through “I am sorry, I am going to have to cancel for tonight”  Then a few minutes later “I’m sorry, I am not interested”.

WAIT… WHAT?

You came back asking to take her out. You apologized for the first time around. YOU did this. She wasn’t pining over you. She had let even the IDEA of you go. So what was your purpose? Now all you have done is commit the dating rewind crime and threw yourself in to douchebag status. Why even waste your time? Was it just something to pass the time until “the next best thing” comes along?? Well sadly, and I can GUARANTEE this because it never fails,  your next best thing will be a next end. And when you reach out to the rewind AGAIN, because you will, because you are THAT guy, she will be completely unattainable. The amazing woman that you chose to take for granted is gone buddy. She has elevated her standards to not include you. Congratulations.

I am not saying this happens every time, some times on a splendid rare occasion you get the spark that may have simply been unavailable the first time around. But let’s be real here, if you are going to try and re-hash something that was never hashed in the first place. Please make sure you are in fact actually interested. Why waste everyone’s time and make yourself look like an asshole? Because now we are going to remember you that way… and all of our friends. Nice job.

 

“Too Available”?

When is being available, being “too available”? This is a question that has sparked some conversation for my group of friends recently. A few of us are dating, some are single, some are taken. Let me tell you how awesome conversations can become with a group as eclectic as us! Different ages, different backgrounds, multitude of upbringings. But the conversations that bring us together always stem around the way we date, love and mourn. We are each others anchors and I wouldn’t trade my ladies for anything.

MOVING ON…

In the dating world, is it possible to come off as “too available”? Is being too eager to see someone really that much of a turn off? Does it seem desperate when a girl has a lot of free time and says yes to every invite? Do we need to play the game and turn you down sometimes even if our schedule is in fact completely wide open? This is our topic of most recent discussion.

I have been told I am too aloof and unavailable in the past, with a busy schedule and not much willingness to deviate from planned events, I can be hard to schedule time with. I have had guys during the initial date stages walk away and tell me it’s because I didn’t have time for them, they didn’t want to fight my hobbies for time with me. IS THIS REAL LIFE?? A friend of mine was told she was “too available” He was turned off by the fact she was always able and willing to hang out, made her seem clingy and desperate. IS THIS REAL LIFE??

Do women seriously need to expend brain power on trying to figure out the correct balance of availability in dating? Why can’t we just say yes when we are free and no when we are not and not worry about the ridicule of specificity behind the invite and our response?! AND if you are truly interested, shouldn’t you be excited when I am available for you? Or willing to stick it out for me to make time for you?

When is being available considered being “too available”?

Watch A Student Totally Nail Something About Women That I’ve Been Trying To Articulate For 37 Years

“As a grown woman with a strong voice, I’m still working on standing tall and using my voice. I owe it to my daughter and other girls like her to set the example and respect my body AND my voice. Be sure to pay attention at 1:40 and 2:09 — Lily really provides some insight into how expectations for men and women differ and how much setting examples for our daughters really does matter.”- Jessica Levenson

Watch video and read original article here:

http://www.upworthy.com/watch-a-student-totally-nail-something-about-women-that-ive-been-trying-to-articulate-for-37-years-6?c=reccon

20 Things Women Should Not Have to Apologize For

I won't apologize

I won’t apologize

As women, we are taught to apologize for several things that don’t warrant having to ask for forgiveness. Why should we have to say sorry for being particular or for putting ourselves first?

We need not feel bad about circumstances beyond our control, and we are entitled to live our lives as we see fit. After all, it’s better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Here is a list of 20 things women should not have to apologize for:

1. Having our period:
There’s a lot we can say on the topic of periods because, frankly, the idea of having to apologize for enduring one week each month in which we cramp, bloat and worry about bleeding through our pants — all so that we can bear children and bring more hemorrhaging females into this world — is absolutely preposterous. We can all be leaders, not just bleeders.

2. Sexual preferences:
Regardless if you love men, women, both or trees, you don’t need to justify whom or what you love. Sometimes, I have intimate feelings for cookie dough ice cream and lip balm, maybe even borderline pornographic dreams about bathing in a tub of one or both, and I never feel sorry about it.

3. Farting and pooping***
Okay, so maybe the polite thing to do after you pass gas is to excuse yourself, but that kind of formality is reserved for nuns and student tutors. Not to be graphic, but unless you took an award-winning dump that smelled so bad, it evacuated an entire Murray Hill pregame, you don’t need to show any remorse! Where do you think the classic “hit and run” criminal routine came from?! The sh*t and run, of course! ***(Personally, I like to call it “making a doodie,” but I’ve been told this is childish.)

4. Bra cup sizes:
Big boobs, flat chests… I’ve always said, “Hugs over jugs,” and I maintain that. No matter where you lie on the spectrum, be grateful you have some. Even if you have none, love one: http://www.keep-a-breast.org/programs/i-love-boobies/.

5. Independence:
Being able to take care of yourself and rely on yourself is a wonderful thing. Whether it’s financial independence, emotional independence or just being able to sit alone sipping iced coffee on a bench, it doesn’t matter, there’s no feeling bad about it. Anyone who makes you feel less for your strong sense of independence can go suck it.

6. Painting our faces:
If you feel more confident wearing makeup, then, by all means, wear makeup! It’s fun and makes us feel like our best-dressed selves — what’s so bad about that? Even more, if you like to wear the entire CVS beauty aisle on your face all at once, then go for it — just so long as you don’t apologize for looking like Lil’ Kim.

7. How many people we’ve had sex with:
We’re putting this whole “kill-count” debate to bed. How many people a girl sleeps with is only one, very small statistic in her romantic history. Especially when it comes to Millennial hookup culture, once the New York Times gets around to writing about it, it’s safe to say we ladies have already discussed it over many Sunday brunches.

8. Being Type-A:
You love making to-do lists and hate being late almost as much as you hate when other people are late. As long as you don’t implode and leave your torched bits scattered everywhere, you don’t need to say sorry.

9. Looking like hell:
Apologizing for the way you look just gives others the go-ahead to mock your appearance. Unless you’re of the Gwenyth Paltrow variety, no one expects you to look flawless all the time.

10. Not enjoying giving blow jobs:
Wait, you mean you don’t like shoving a long stretch of human flesh into your mouth while bobbing face-first into a man’s crotch as he tests your throat for strep? You should never have to defend what you put in your mouth — dick or otherwise.

11. Being girly:
Since when did being “girly” become a bad thing? Why do we have to feel bad about obsessing over each other’s hair, watching “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days” on repeat and indulging in manicures? Girly stuff is really, really fun and it sure beats watching guys tackling each other for four hours.

12. Popping pimples:
Pimples have no other purpose being on your face than to be popped, and resisting the urge to do so is like telling a toddler not to press the elevator buttons. While we know excavating your face isn’t the best idea, don’t let the dermatologist pimple-shame you for trying to solve the problem the good old-fashioned way.

13. Putting our relationships first:
Valuing your relationship and making it a priority is what being with someone else is all about! If your significant other is most important to you, that is an exceptionally rare and beautiful thing to hold on to. If it means making personal sacrifices for this other person, you don’t have to justify its worth.

14. Eating healthy:
Can’t a woman refuse the cookie plate without having to explain her desire to eat right? We fat-shame, we skinny-shame, and now we’re feeling shameful for making healthy choices? Your body should be thanking you, not saying sorry for it.

15. Not liking children:
All children are beautiful, but they are not all likeable. Oh, your infant said another incomprehensible sentence while crapping his pants!? Zero f*cks given.

16. Making more money:
It’s time we stop feeling guilty for our success and start enjoying it. Be proud of your worth and what you’ve earned.

17. Not wanting to have sex:
It doesn’t matter if you just met and he’s coming upstairs, or if you’ve been in a committed relationship; if you’re not down, you’re not down.

18. Putting work first:
If work is the most fulfilling aspect of your life, there is no reason you shouldn’t immerse yourself in it. There’s a big difference between letting your job run your life and working hard at something you’re dedicated to.

19. Eating too much:
The only person you need to apologize to for eating too much is your body when it winds up in a food coma.

20. Being who we are:
You are incredible, and haters are gonna hate. So shine on, girlfriend. Shine on.

*This article has been edited to exclude potentially offensive content; the views and opinions expressed within this article are solely those of the author. These views and opinions are not representative of Elite Daily.

Original article here: http://elitedaily.com/women/sorry-sorry-20-things-women-shouldnt-apologize/

“THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” Take time to read this, it may save your life

I don’t know if the interview part is true, but I do feel this is valuable information for any woman.
It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation. Everyone should read this especially every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…

FYI – Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

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POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

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FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information. I hope you all will Reblog.

 IT COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.